Some Annoying Non-Verbal Actions that You Should Always Avoid

People do frame opinions about you based on your non-verbal communication. It is upto you that how you want your public image to be framed. Do you wish to be recognised as a sensible, sensitive, responsible and intelligent individual or you wish to appear as an irresponsible, unpleasant, insensitive and foolish person?

The choice is yours. Remember image and reputation management is a necessary marketing strategy in todays competitive environment.

In the previous post I discussed about how Non-Verbal communication plays a pivotal role in the process of communication. Through this post I wish to throw light on some basic and quite commonplace human behaviour which knowingly or unknowingly turns out to be annoying to the onlooker or a keen observer. Most people are blind or ignorant to these gestures as they lack the ability to recognise the implications of these gestures. Here we will devote considerable attention to such common yet annoying behaviour.

  • Bangbang: No, I Have no intention to coin any new theory of evolution rhyming with the one named Big bang. I wish to draw your attention to the fact that many people while making presence in public gatherings like meetings, seminar halls, convocations, examination halls or auditoriums are highly insensitive to opening and closing doors while stepping in and out of the room. They just unintentionally bang the doors behind them , leaving behind a disturbed and annoyed audience. We can show more sensitivity to people by handling the doors more gently.
  • Drumming and whistling in public places : Yes drumming and whistling might be a great idea while enjoying leisure time with your friends but not in a formal setting. In a classroom, formal meeting, Interview or a conference hall, it is best to refrain from such actions. Such actions draw more negative attention than positive appreciation. Drumming could be interpreted as a symptom of anxiety or casual behaviour. Whistling again, may be interpreted as a mocking gesture or lack of self-control.
  • Pushing aside people, while trying to make way for oneself: Very annoying and offensive behaviour is one when people walk/ brush past against you pushing you or hurting you and then act so indifferent as if they did nothing. They do not feel the need to apologise and walk away from the scene. It only shows poor civic sense and people label you as rude and uncultured.
  • Acting funny in response to serious discussion or situations: Some people are so fascinated by the idea of cracking jokes that they try to bring in their characteristic humour in every situation. Irrespective of the fact where they are or in whose company they are sitting, some people are  always absorbed in their own thoughts.  Little do they realise that using humour every now and then in response to serious questions or grave discussions can become a serious offence if used without context and lack of judgement. It shows absence of consideration (One of the 7 C’s of communication) and comes across as an irresponsible behaviour.
  • Diverging from the central theme of discussion to avoid confrontationThere is another special category of people who always try to streamline the communication as per their liking. They override your arguments with illogical explanations simply to divert the flow of communication. They use this strategy as a weapon for self-defense. Such a communication where one tries to mask ones mistakes by using illogical and irrational arguments to divert the attention and escape from the uncomfortable situation is often judged as escapist or arrogant behaviour. It is important to confront the fears instead of trying to hide them under the carpet.
  • Staying glued to ones mobile while someone is talking: Highest form of discourteousness observed in todays mobile generation is staying glued to ones mobile when someone is speaking. This is nothing less than showing disrespect to the speaker. Eye contact is a significant way to send feedback to the speaker. Avoiding eye-contact may send the wrong signal and strain the relations with the speaker and create misunderstandings.

People do frame opinions about you based on your non-verbal communication. It is upto you that how you want your public image to be framed. Do you wish to be recognised as a sensible, sensitive, responsible and intelligent individual or you wish to appear as an irresponsible, unpleasant, insensitive and foolish person?

The choice is yours. Remember image and reputation management is a necessary marketing strategy in todays competitive environment. Communication, both verbal and non-verbal is an indespensible tool in reputation management.

Speak With Conviction, Lead with Confidence

If you are honest in your conversation, you will reciprocate an honest feedback. If you pretend, you will not sound convincing and subsequently loose your credibility. If your non-verbal cues match with your spoken words they impart clarity and trust to your words. People read your thoughts and judge you by your behavior and attitude. What they see is more important to them than what that they hear. Great communicators never overlook the emotions and feelings of their audience. They value the power of non-verbal communication and implement it in their speech and action. This helps them to  be popular among both the elite and the masses.

I know each one of you is a leader. You are an expert in your own way. I trust you for your skills and abilities. I have complete faith in your inherent capacity to excel in what you do. Your talent and knowledge is no less than the best in the industry. Your achievements are a testimony to your smart work and efficiency. Yet, at times you experience setbacks, your actions do not yield the desired result, your words fail to draw attention. Someone steals the show while you keep sweating behind the curtain. Someone marches ahead with confidence, mesmerizes the audience with his charismatic persona and impressive demeanor. You keep wondering what really took him ahead? What is so exceptional about these people who climb up the ladder and lead the crowd. From where does one get this killer attitude? What secret is hidden behind this power -packed performance? This youthful energy and contagious enthusiasm is not a matter of chance or sheer luck; it is hard earned.

The difference between success and failure is defined by your attitude. If you choose to win, win you will. However, winning is just half the story but to stay ahead demands persistence and continual learning. Be open to learning. The moment you cease to learn, you limit your growth. Stagnation is no growth. You have to keep honing your skills to stay in the race. Learning is a continual process. “If you stop learning, you start dying” observed Albert Einstein. So success may be short-lived but a die-hard attitude will never let you down. Never rest, never sit back, never rust unburnished but shine in use.

It is important to update your knowledge and expand your skill- set to meet the changing demands of the professional environment and challenges in personal life. Expansion of knowledge and skills heavily rely on the manner in which you communicate and interact with others. Communication is a process of encoding a message and transferring it to the receiver through a suitable medium to achieve a desired action and feedback. How you encode the message will determine how the receiver would decode and respond to it.

If you treat your people with love, respect and dignity they naturally feel more connected to you. If you replace ‘ego‘ with ‘humility’; ‘bossism’ with ‘cordiality’; ‘negativity’ with ‘positivism’; ‘hostility’ with ‘friendliness’; ‘envy’ with ‘generosity’, your attitude will resonate in your conversations, dealings, negotiations and relations with others. It will reflect in your personality and become an integral part of your body language.

Body language is an aspect of communication which expresses your message without making use of the spoken or written words. As we often hear,“Your actions speak louder than the words”, It is absolutely true. What you say is important but how you say is more important. Your gestures, postures, manners, appearance, eye contact and the speed, tone and rhythm of your voice, speak volumes about your personality.

If you are honest in your conversation, you will reciprocate an honest feedback. If you pretend, you will not sound convincing and subsequently loose your credibility. If your non-verbal cues match with your spoken words they impart clarity and trust to your words. People read your thoughts and judge you by your behavior and attitude. What they see is more important to them than what they hear. Great communicators never overlook the emotions and feelings of their audience. They value the power of non-verbal communication and implement it in their speech and action. This helps them to be popular among both the elite and the masses. Their confidence reigns supreme as they are well equipped to read the mind of their audience. Leaders are not born, they are made. What makes one a leader is the ease, poise and conviction with which one communicates. In fact, leaders communicate more without words than with them.

If you go beyond the spoken words and touch the heart of your people , you will emerge victorious in all your endeavors.

“I never lose , I either win or learn”

Go win the world, be a leader!